Wrath of Ed
by RadicalMikey
Summary: Someone owes Ed something, the poor fool. R&R, you people.
1. Food Rage

Wrath of Ed  
  
Notes: This is my first fanfic EVER! I've been told I'm a talented writer. Let's hope the fool who said that was right. I encourage you to read and review. And yes, I'll eventually revise this and make it a bit more coherent. The Bebop is out of food... again. This time due to a lack of money. It's a period of relative peace, tough time's for our favorite bounty hunters. Yes, there is a bit of self-insertion (I apparently own CompuGlobe), but I pay for it in the end. Yep, Ed's a tricky one... er, just read.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop. The series is Ara Watanabe's fault, not mine. Heh, if I DID own Bebop, this would be a claimer instead of a disclaimer... er, nevermind. Anyway the characters are owned by it's respective, er, owners, yada yada. Now, to the story!  
  
Chapter 1: Food Rage  
  
"How long has it been?" Spike's voice rose wearily from the couch in the sitting room. How long HAD it been? Felt like a month. "About 4 days," replied Faye from a chair on the other side of the room. "Dammit Faye, we need food!" shouted Spike. "Well, if you hadn't wasted the last of our money on those cigarette's-" "Edward's hungry!" Ed whined from her spot on the floor. "We know Ed, we know." Food rage was beginning to seem like a scary though after all. Then Jet walked in. "Bad news, guys. No food at all. No emergency rations, either. We even ran out of salt. There's just nothing left" "Rrrr... rowf!" yipped Ein. Spike rose up. "Ed, do another check for bounty heads. Anything at all. We need money." "Okay-okay," yawned Ed. "Nope, uh-uh. Wait, here's something! Damien Ladre. Wanted for murder and two hijackings. 100,000 woolong reward!" Spike glanced at the screen. "100,000? That's it? Oh well, it'll buy food. Thanks Ed." Then Faye got up. "I'm coming too!" Spike looked at her quizzically. "Why? Your not getting any of the reward, ya know. We need it for food." They started for the hanger. "That's fine. I just gotta get outta here. If I stay one moment longer, I might explode." Faye said as they left the room. "Those two.." said Jet. "Spike-person and Faye-Faye gone..." said Edward. "Yep. Maybe now it'll be a bit quieter around here. At least until they get back." So Ed went back to net diving. She just loved sifting through all the data... but then she saw something that caught her attention. A news headline from a few days ago. "Michael Bratcher to Visit Earth." Below that: "Michael Bratcher, owner of CompuGlobe, is going to take his annual vacation on Earth on the 25th. CompuGlobe is the leading computer systems manufacturer of the 21st century, selling twice as many systems annually than major competitor Microsoft. 'There's just no stopping him! He practically monopolizes the computer systems manufacturing industry!' says Microsoft owner Bill Gates III. Michael will also be stopping by the secret CompuGlobe Earth meeting center, whose location cannot be disclosed, to discuss plans for expansion. At the ripe young age of 17, Michael is the solar system's youngest and most successful business man...' Ed smiled. "Ha ha ha, found ya, found ya! Don't forget Mikey, you still owe Edward!"  
  
0_0  
  
So what does Mikey owe Ed, exactly? What will happen to Spike and Faye? Will Jet's bonsai trees finally reveal the secrets of the universe to the general public? Stay tuned for Chapter 2: "Breaking Into The Bebop" or "How She got to Earth". Or something else. I dunno. I'm getting a beer... 


	2. Down to Earth

Note: Here I go now, Chapter 2 of Wrath of Ed. I have decided to finish this (though not in this chapter) due to its decent reviews, so yay for me. And so, AC/DC blaring in my ear, I type.  
  
Act 2: Down to Earth  
  
Spike and Faye landed their ships and took a look around them. Earth hadn't changed much from their last visit, save a few new craters here and there. "According to the info Ed gave us, this Damien guy seems to like two things: bodybuilding and thrill seeking. Used to be a skydiver before his first grand theft spacecraft charge. Stole a small freighter. Now this was a few months ago. Recently he decided to try and hijack another freighter. Ended up 'accidentally' killing the driver." Spike finished. "So where might my find this guy?" Faye asked. "Well, lets check the gym he used to work out in," Spike suggested.  
  
Meanwhile, in the depths of space.  
  
Jet is still intently trimming his bonsai trees.  
  
Ed: Hi Jet-person!  
  
Jet: Huh, yeah hi.  
  
Ed: I'm taking the hammery-head! Bye!  
  
Jet: Yeah, see ya.  
  
A minute or two passes.  
  
Jet: O_O Wait Ed!  
  
Ed is long gone however. flying down to Earth, in fact.  
  
Jet (over radio): Do you even know how to fly that!?!?  
  
Ed: Yep.  
  
(A loud crash.)  
  
Ed: Ow! I mean, nope!  
  
Jet: Ed, what happened?! What happened to my hammerhead?  
  
Ed: Hammerhead pieces pieces all gone.  
  
Jet: O_o  
  
Hmm. elsewhere on Earth.  
  
Spike and Faye have found the gym Damien Ladre used to work out at. "Damien? Haven't seen him in a while." said the owner, Gus. "He doin' all right?" "Two hijacking and a murder, amongst other things," Spike interjected. "Damn! Well, might check next door at the Marty's Italian. Damien loves pasta!" suggested the owner. "Yeah, we'll do that," Spike says. So the two go next door for a meal and maybe some info. "Good evening! Ah, what lovely couple! A table for two for you, and maybe some wine?", says the waiter. Spike and Faye exchange disgusted glances. "Uh, know, were not together. Well, I mean not like THAT! But we'll take a table for two." says Faye. "But first, has a guy be the name of Damien Ladre come by here recently?" The waiter's eyes lit up. "Ah, Damien, our best customer! Alas, he hasn't been here in a while. Might try the Laundromat where he does his laundry." Er, alright." Says Spike. "I will lead you to your tables", said the waiter dude.  
  
Meanwhile (again).  
  
Jet: Alright Ed. Just wait there and I'll pick you up.  
  
Ed: Bye Jet-person!  
  
Jet: Wait, Ed! Dammit!  
  
Ed was long gone. She knew where she was going. To secret CompuGlobe underground compound, of course, where HE was having his meeting. Ed smiled. It was easy to hack into the CompuGlobe computers and find the location. It was based on HER operating system, after all. "Shoulda brought my scooty-scooter." Ed thought to herself. She passed by a gas station and noticed a pick-up truck refueling in the parking lot. "Hmm, that'll do!" She slipped in the back just as the driver was getting back in. And off the truck went.  
  
Well, that's the end of chapter 2. Kinda short, I know. Stay tuned for chapter 3! It'll be longer, unless it isn't. But questions remain unanswered. Particuliarly the question of how Spike and Faye are gonna pay for their meal. Stay tuned for chapter 3: [insert chapter name here]. 


	3. The Promise

Well, here's chapter 3, in record time too, just weeks after chapter 2, which came months after chapter 1. Yay for Mikey. A new fanfic after Wrath of Ed will be written, rest assured, and it'll probably be some kind of crazy crossover. Now, without further adieu.  
  
Part 3: The Promise  
  
Jet was pissed, oh yes was he pissed. He hadn't eaten in days, Spike and Faye hadn't returned with the bounty, Ed crashed his ship, and, to top it all off, his carefully tended trees were starting to die. "Dammit, what did I do wrong? I've fed them, I've watered them, I've trimmed them. damn!" What Jet didn't realize was that his plants had caught a rare disease during a recent excursion to Mars. fatal, too (to the plants, that is). "Aaagh! Where are those two!"  
  
Spike and Faye were still in the restaurant. But instead of enjoying a lovely meal, they were scrubbing dishes. Apparently in their desperation for food they forgot how broke they were. "I can't believe this! We should be tracking that bounty head. he could be long gone by now!" Faye griped. "Hey, whatever happens, happens. Besides, that WAS a pretty good meal," chirped Spike. "You! If you wouldn't have spent the last of our money on cigarettes-!" Now Faye was pissed. "Just drop it, Faye." Too bad they were washing dishes as opposed to bussing tables in the front were there was a window, otherwise they would have noticed to old pick-up truck their bounty was reported driving moving past the eatery.  
  
They also might have noticed Ed, who was riding in the back. She knew this area well, and watched as the truck turned down some familiar roads. Lucky day for Ed, the truck took her pretty close to CompuGlobe's underground building (a skyscraper would get pounded by constant meteor showers, duh). She got out and began walking through the wasteland.  
  
Jet's plants weren't getting any better, and Jet was getting hungrier. He looked around the room. There was Ein. Yummy, delicious Ein. "Wait, Ed would kill me! Oh, but she crashed the hammerhead. Nah, I can't do it. maybe as a last resort." Then he looked at his bonsai trees, his poor doomed little babies. "Well, there pretty much dead anyway." He got his last can of soy sauce he was hiding from the others and poured it on his trees. Bon appetite.  
  
Mikey sat at his desk and typed. He liked to type just for the sheer joy of typing. Plus, it made him look busy. Being the owner of a huge monopoly and all, this was important. But now he was getting a bit bored. "I could use some fresh air", he though to himself. He pushed a button on his P.A. "Maggie, I'm going out. Hold my calls. Oh, and happy birthday, don't celebrate do hard." He made a drinking motion with his hands. Pity no one was around to see it. And yeah, he's a bit of a jackass. "Yes sir," was the reply. "Yay, now I don't have to deal with that annoying S.O.B." she thought to herself.  
  
Ed saw him walk out of the freight elevator to leads in and out of the building (one could call it a shelter, even). "Mikey Mikey Mikey Mikey Mikey Mikey!!! ^_^ " Ed shouted in glee. "Huh, do I know you, young man?" Mikey replied. "Um, Edward is a girl! You promised me, remember!" "Huh, Edward, where have I heard that name before. oh shit!" he thought. It dawned on him.  
  
A few years back, Mikey was just a normal teen with a computer and some novice skills in net diving. He met Ed through net diving and was intrigued when she told him that she built her personal OS from scratch. Tomato Operating System was a very flexible, very user-friendly OS that was not only good for net diving, but could be used for anything from bank telling to highly encrypted military systems. Just imagine how much money a guy could make with that! Mikey told Ed that if she gave him the rights to her system, that he would pay her back somehow. "Well, Ed always wanted Ed's own T.V. show!!!" "Alright, it's a promise," Mikey said.  
  
"I can't give her her own T.V. show! Think of the profit losses!" He though. "I'm sorry, young man, but I've never seen you before in my life. Now if you'd excuse me!" Ed winced. "But Mikey-person promised-" "I've never seen you before and I never made you any 'promises'! Now get out of my way!" And he walked off.  
  
Ed was a bit mad, a bit disappointed. "I'll get you, bad Mikey-person!"  
  
Ooh, a threat from Ed, scary! BTW, a shoutout to muh friends, Maggie-chan and "Satan Online", his first name won't be said here, as well as Augie from norom forums for her review. Thanks! Stay tuned for chapter 4! 


End file.
